After many years of studying, researching, and trying many different things, I’ve now realized that there is a conspiracy against men being successful with women. It’s very real, and it’s very pervasive in our culture. Let me explain.

Most men that I know have some kind of ‘feeling’ that it’s wrong in some way to sleep with more than one woman at a time. (I’m not even referring to a Ménage à Trois, either. I’m talking about plain old run-of-the-mill dating a couple of women at a time here.)

But most women that I know have more than just a ‘feeling’ about this idea. Most women are outspoken and very forward about the idea that it’s WRONG for most men to date and sleep with more than one woman. You can see it in their faces and hear it in their voices when they talk about this topic.

If you know what I’m talking about, give me a silent nod here. What I’ve discovered by doing my homework is that the moral idea of monogamy (having only one partner at a time) has been formalized, passed down, and force-fed to us culturally by rulers, religions, and women for thousands of years.

I don’t mean to get too far out here, but I feel that understanding from where these beliefs came and how they are promoted will liberate many readers. Onward.

Anywhere from hundreds to thousands of years ago, rulers of lands kept large harems of women. These harems were guarded carefully to prevent any males except the rulers from having access to these women. The penalty for sleeping with one of the ruler’s women could be, in an extreme case, your own death and the deaths of everyone in your family and village. (Back then there were bigger risks involved!)

These rulers kept so many women not just for the sexual variety that it provided them, but also for the reproductive power that it gave them. These rulers often had detailed records kept so they could copulate with only the most fertile women and maximize the woman’s chances of pregnancy and passing on their own genes. So what do you think these rulers did to protect their harems?

Right! They passed laws (from which they were exempt) to promote monogamy. In these times there was a great shortage of women, so these laws would discourage married men (those lucky enough to find a woman) from seeking sex outside of their marriage and therefore further protect the ruler’s harem. Next, we have the church.