Heartache after a break up is all too common. I wish it didn't have to be, but it is. If you've recently been through a break up with someone that you care about then you are probably feeling some heartache right now and wondering "my heart is broken - can I get my ex back?" The answer to this may not be that simple as every relationship and break up is different. There are some simple and effective methods you can use that will improve your chances of winning your ex back.
1. Don't act in a way that will drive your ex further away. Be nice. This sounds obvious but many of us think nagging and complaining is the best way to get what we want. This won't work. All you're doing is reminding your ex why they don't want to be around you in the first place. This behavior will only drive them away.
2. Don't pretend to be someone or something that you are not. If you have to "fake" who you really are just to be with someone you should be asking yourself if it is really worth it to be with that person. Wouldn't you be better off with someone that loves you for who you are?
3. Don't think you can change the past. You can affect the future but what's done is done. Don't dwell on it. Admit your wrong doings or any fault you may have had to cause the break up. Don't expect your ex to do the same though. They may in time but don't force it. Remember the mistakes that were made so you can avoid making them again in the future.
4. What if my ex has found someone else? This certainly makes winning them back more difficult but not impossible. Simply start by being incredibly nice and try to be there for them when you can. Remember - you are not their priority now if they are dating someone else and they won't have a lot of time to be with you. You have to make the most of any time that they can give you. Show them how wonderful you can be.
5. Can I trick my ex into coming back to me? In the long run deception will not work. Your ex will discover the truth sooner or later and it will blow up in your face. Don't let this happen. You may win them back in the short term, but you will probably lose them again in the long term when they find out you were deceiving them.
6. Will jealousy work? Possibly but you walk a fine line with this. If you ex sees you with another person they may think that you have moved on and are no longer interested in them. If you are thinking of dating someone just to make your ex jealous this will usually only make everyone miserable in the end. Being honest with yourself and your ex will usually work far better.
Don't give up. Try these things - what have you got to lose?
Peter Harris has worked in the health care arena and as an author for 18 years. He brings you his written perspective in his collected works.
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