If you don’t like your boss, or the way he or she is treating you, you can resign and find another job with a more reasonable supervisor. But what if you are also married to your boss? A woman I interviewed for Honey, I Want to Start my Own Business, A Planning Guide for Couples, told me that after months of verbal abuse by her husband and supervisor, she quit with no notice, and within a week she was working at a nice salary for someone else. Remarkably, their marriage survived that ordeal. Six months later, after intensive marriage counseling, her husband swallowed his pride and begged her to return, acknowledging her true worth to his business after all. She now keeps a typed letter of resignation by her computer, as a reminder to her husband not to take her value for granted.

Working for your spouse can be the best thing that ever happened to your business and your marriage, if five key ingredients are all, and consistently, present in the mix. First, the spouse employee must really want to be there, and enjoy the work that he or she is doing. Second, the spouse-employee must be a competent worker, performing at least as well as co-workers, and representing the company well to customers. Third, the spouse-supervisor must communicate respect, appreciation, and gratitude for the spouse-employee’s contribution, no worst than the way he or she supervises other employees, and hopefully as good or better. Fourth, over time, the spouse-employee must start feeling a sense of partnership in the business. And fifth, the husband and wife must enjoy spending a good deal of time together.

One of the best examples I’ve seen of a successful husband/wife partnership that started as supervisor/ employee is Penny and Stephen McKee, who spend their days running Red Rose Tree and Shrub Care, in Salunga, PA. Stephen is the founder of the company and the main “tree guy.” When you hire their services, it’s Stephen who is up in the trees. Penny is the bookkeeper and his loyal assistant on the ground. Though this operation began as Stephen’s business, based on his fifteen years of experience, both Penny and Stephen have come to see Penny as a full partner, as well as employee in the business..

Typical of many entrepreneurial couples, Stephen’s business was already established when Penny came into his life. She was working in insurance when they married, and being an outdoors person herself, she envied Stephen’s daily phone calls from the road, where he was enjoying the beautiful spring weather, while she was trapped in an office cubicle all day. Since some tree jobs require at least two people, Stephen found himself turning down business when he was working solo, since it wasn’t always feasible for him to hire a contractor for the job. After a few years of marriage, they took the big leap: Penny quit her job and joined Stephen full-time in his business. They hoped that her assistance would help grow the business enough to compensate them for her loss in salary..

At this juncture, Penny and Stephen met two of the required criteria. They loved spending time together, and Penny thought she would enjoy the working environment that accompanies trimming trees for a living..

Over the next few years, they met the other three criteria for success as well. Stephen took Penny under his wing, and taught her everything he could about trees. He didn’t just treat her as a hired hand, but sought to increase her level of expertise and confidence as well. Although it was clear that Penny was working for Stephen, from the beginning, he set the stage for making her a full partner in the business, and she did her part to earn that status..

Stephen said: “Penny works harder than most of the men who have worked for me. When we cut a tree, a new employee would grab one branch at a time and drag it to the truck. Penny would grab as much branches as she could carry at one time, making fewer trips to the truck. As Penny became more confident and knowledgeable, I started handing over more responsibilities to her. It took two or three years, but now Penny definitely feels like my partner in the business.”

Penny said: “It means a lot to me that Stephen values my opinion. We both go out on estimates together, individually assess the job, and then come together and compare our thoughts. We’re both usually on the same wavelength; most of the time, we even propose the same price. If he’s up in a tree, he’ll ask my opinion - how does it look, what do you think about this? When we get into the truck, he’ll say ‘You did a hell of a job today.’ I feel appreciated and respected by Stephen.”.