Let me tell you a little story about a doctor that supposedly had it all but was still unhappy. He was a brilliant man, people loved him and his practice was full. On the outside he looked as though he had a dream life. But he was somehow empty. Somehow, he found himself trapped in an “all work, no play” lifestyle and he wanted to get out. When he called me, he was looking for a coach. The first thing he said was, “I need someone to help me focus on the things that truly matter to me. I don’t want to work all these long hours any more. I don’t need that. But, I’m finding it difficult to stick to the commitments I’ve made for myself.” I was impressed by his self-diagnosis. He knew exactly what he wanted and he was committed to making some changes. “That’s an easy case”, I whispered to myself. Oh, was I wrong and let me tell you why.

As we started going over the things that he really enjoyed doing as a child, as a college student and even now. I noticed his enthusiasm and momentum were highest when he was talking about animals. His entire world was built around his love for animals. He built a house for abandoned dogs, did fundraising, was involved in many charities, had several animals at his home and he owned a farm. We were working together on a plan to free up his time so that he would be able to focus more on his family instead of his business. But animals kept coming into play. I decided to ask him to write down where he spent his hours during an entire week. To our surprise he was not spending most of his time at his practice but on doing things for his animals. At his practice, he had automated most of the activities so he was there only to diagnose his patients. His afternoons were spent with his animals. At that point, I recognized the root of his “time management” problem. His challenge didn’t lie in the area of time management at all. He simply didn’t love what he was doing anymore.

The very next day, he came to me and told me the real story of his life. He always wanted to be a veterinarian and have his own animal hospital. Yet, his parents wanted him to be a doctor. They even convinced him that being a doctor would practically be the same thing as being a vet, but he would receive more recognition and prestige. Having an authoritarian father and a loving mother that wanted her children to agree with their father’s wishes didn’t help his situation. His father was also a doctor and kept reminding his son that he would inherit his practice one-day.

He rebelled and the tears flowed but he finally followed his father’s advice at the expense of his own dream. It turned out that he had the qualities of being a good doctor. He was caring, loving and compassionate. But he would have rather been healing unprotected animals instead of people.

All along he knew what he wanted from his life. However, he suppressed it and did not honor what his heart really wanted him to do. Now, years later, he found himself trapped.

External pressures and fear are reasons why many people don’t follow the path that they really love. Don’t dismiss the small voice inside you that tells you what to do. Honor it because it will usually show you the right path to success.

Really look at yourself. Are you are on the path that YOU and only you want to be on? In order to unlock the prison of external pressures you have to be willing to tell the truth to yourself, to your family and your friends. Your compass for your right path in this life should be your gut feeling and not other people’s opinions.

Nobody said that your road would be easy.

Discovering something that you really love to do takes time and strength. To encourage you, I’m include these tips that will help you stay focused and be strong when you get exposed to things and people that could destroy your dream.

1. Read and Learn.

Read about people that you admire, people that went through similar situations. The key here is to stay inspired. Write out your vision and the goals that you are committed to following. Refer to them in times of self-doubt.

Write notes to yourself about your commitment.

Not necessarily a journal, but notes of encouragement that will keep you focused on what you’re doing and where you want to go. Tell yourself what the future looks like and how wonderful it will be to do what you love to do.

Surround yourself with people that love and believe in you.

There will always be those who are negative. Those who constantly tell you, “it can’t be done”. Ignore them! By surrounding yourself with people who will uplift you, encourage you and celebrate with you, you are helping to build your self-confidence and strength.

Look at your life. If you’re struggling, find out why. Is the cause due to choosing the wrong path in life? If so, change your path now! The longer you wait, the harder it will be.

Aim to be happy and to do what you love!

(c) 2001 As a coach and consultant, Carole creates an environment where others can openly express their opinions without feeling they will be criticized. A transfer of knowledge, energy and ideas between Carole and client takes place almost by osmosis.
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