When it comes time to make tough decisions we often freeze. Not knowing which road to travel is a common occurrence. I was reflecting on what makes a high impact decision that can change our personal and professional lives unique. How are these choices different than the ones we make on a daily basis?

I was thinking about this question when I realized that the decisions that really mattered to my personal and professional life were the decisions that somehow had a high impact to my surrounding environment and me. Interestingly enough, once I made a hard decision it triggered a pivotal chain of positive opportunities in my life. This comes from wisdom. Keep in mind; wisdom and knowledge are often two different things. Wisdom tells us that once our decisions are not solely focused on the desired outcome, we begin to realize that there is not only one way of solving our problems. I am a big believer of letting my heart to guide me. This is the best compass that human beings have, yet it is one that is so protected, humble and seldom manifests itself. Most adults lose the privilege of listening to their inner voice. Once social norms, education, guilt and other feelings manifest in our logic they come into direct conflict with our heart.

Yet, it is there… from time to time, when we are alone with ourselves, it manifests itself. These are the times that we suddenly start to hear the sounds of the birds again, notice the stars in the sky and find solutions to matters that we thought were forgotten forever.

One of my clients, Joanna, is a successful businesswoman who was working hard to get a promotion. She was spending hours at work, neglecting her family and particularly herself. When the time came to get that promotion, she was speechless and disappointed to learn that a new person - an outsider - got the position that she was working so hard for the past two years. Needless to say she was devastated. She could not hide her disappointment and angry feelings. Worst of all, her motivation fell through the roof. The situation at home did not get any better. She became angry with her family and almost ruined her marriage.

Joanna was lucky to realize that she needed to change something in herself before losing everything that she worked so hard for the past twenty years. She started reflecting on the way she was living her life, writing down her typical days and fears, and then at the end of the week answering the following questions:

• Did my activity this past week make a difference in someone’s life? Can I expect some results in the near future? How many people are going to benefit from this? Will the project that I am working on matter from a year now?
• How many days did I laugh? Who were the people that made me feel good? What have I done to thank them? Does my happiness rely simply by getting from other people? What did I give to the community this week?
• How many times this week did I take time for myself? When did I treat myself? What things can someone else in my life do? How effective was I in delegating work personally and professionally?

Once she started doing these things, and learned to say no to tasks that were not her direct responsibility, amazingly she started seeing results in her emotional well being. She became a calmer person and she was able to see the things that really mattered to her. She started being more attentive with people, caring and most importantly patient.