Always remember that your objective is to share your insight. It's not to be right or belittle the other. People can't hear and you can't inspire when you've triggered their defense mechanisms.

Before you confront or criticize, make sure you understand the situation. Your assumption may not be accurate.

No one likes to be told what to do. Used in the right way, questions can enlighten. "Would you be open to a suggestion?" "Are you aware that you do X? "Have you ever considered doing X instead of Y?" "Would you be willing to do this differently?

"When you do this, I feel this way. When you do thus and so, it affects us in this way."

If you have strong emotion attached to the situation you're probably in judgment of the other person. If your issues are triggered, it will likely obscure or distort the communication.

Challenge the best that's within them. "I know you're committed to doing your best and what I saw today doesn't seem consistent with that commitment." Confront the behavior, not the person. Use the word "and" instead of "but" after a compliment.

Leave this technique to TV sitcoms. It has no place when telling the truth with compassion.

When you use words like "all", "every" and "never," you dilute the power of your statement. They serve to antagonize and it's rare these absolute adverbs are ever true.