One of the most important things you can do for your health and success is to get optimistic.
Numerous studies cited in "Learned Optimism," by Martin Seligman, Ph.D., confirm that optimists are:
- Healthier and live longer;
- Resistant to depression;
- Likely to achieve their potential;
- Persistent in the face of adversity;
- Able to get maximum pleasure from success because they think they caused it.
Pessimism, on the other hand:
- Lowers your immunity;
- Your health at age 60 will be strongly related to your optimism/pessimism at age 25;
- Makes you more prone to isolation which is a higher health risk than smoking;
- Lowers your EQ;
- Keeps you from guarding your health or getting medical advice when needed;
- and causes more bad events in life.
How can you ‘learn’ optimism? There are cognitive exercises in “Learned Optimism,” or you can take distance learning classes, or have coaching or counseling. You can’t learn it by memorizing mantras or carrying around quotes on a 3x5 card. It involves learning new self-talk and practicing it rigorously until mastered.
Incidentally, if you think optimists aren’t always in touch with reality, you’re right. Pessimists are more often right, but optimists accomplish more, and live longer, healthier, happier lives.
It’s a tempered optimism we’re talking about, one that you choose to use or not use. The times TO use such an attitude would be in an achievement situation such as:
- sports;
- when giving a speech;
- when trying to curb depression;
- when dealing with a protracted physical health issue;
- when trying to lead;
- inspire;
- or get elected.
Times when you should NOT use optimism are:
- when the stakes are very high ,
- considering having an affair,
- day trading,
- or when counseling someone in dire trouble.
You should ALWAYS use optimism when processing a negative event, such as:
- getting fired,
- or losing a sale.
Seligman, who has researched optimism for over 30 years, recommends distracting yourself immediately (go have fun) and watching your self-talk. Do NOT attribute the bad event to permanent, pervasive or personal reasons, i.e., “I’m a loser. I might as well give up.” Instead, attribute it to temporary, specific and external reasons, i.e., “He fired me because he’s overwhelmed and a poor manager. I’ll do fine at the next job.”
Lastly, here are 4 tips to try:
- Don’t disqualify positive experiences. If someone says you’re in great shape for your age, don’t say, “I’m just lucky,” say, “Thank you. I work at it.”
- Emphasize the positive.
- Don’t be a perfectionist. Set realistic goals and standards.
- Keep things in proportion. Losing your car keys is not equivalent to a 911 emergency.
Susan Dunn is a professional coach who specializes in emotional intelligence for individuals and businesses, with applications to all areas of your life.
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